00110: Phreak Phirst Aid
By: AardwolfIntroduction:
This is a little thing I thought up while phield phreaking a phat box. Picture this, you and your phat ass laptop are hacking cosmos from a switch box secluted 20 feet in the woods at 4:00am (yeah, right!) Then it happens. The green (Tip) wire of your beige box breaks off your alligator clip when you were twidging to scratch your ass. "Oh shit" you think, but you remember the login, password, and wc field so you reach in your pocket, fiddle around a while until you find it. Your trusty red pockey knife. You think "all I need to do is cut some green insulation and wire some of that copper around my clip again and soder it when I get home". So you pull out that newly sharpened blade and start to widdle off the insulation when wham! You get cought up and start to put harder. It then breaks off and your knife flings into your leg (Note: for safety and fashion reasons while field phreaking always wear dark jeans) and blood starts gushing all over. (Just like in Doom!!!) Oh shit now what? Go back home to get a band aid and risk waking up your parents and rover your wonder gold fish? This is kinda what happened to me. I had no bandaids, just a phreak kit. In the next section I Will explain how to go about making bandages out of phreak gear and go over some phreak safety tips.
How To Make A Bandage Out Of Phreak Gear:
Whip out a blank disk you use to put your Russian Nuclear War plans you hack on (Also my phriend brought up a good point: Go to the nearest mailbox, open it, and take out their daily AOL disk)
Now that you have your disk crack it open. Take out the filmy floppy frizbee. Discard this. Look at the inside of the casing of that frizbee. There will be white cotton stuff on each side. Pull that out. Now put in on where you are bleeding and aply direct pressure (ok some of this I learned in 8th grade health) Now you need to stick it on so open your backpack and pull out that nifty black electrical tape. Put some of that over it and whala! Not only does it stop the bleeding and alow you to phreak until sunrise but it looks really cool!
If your bleeding is really that bad you can take off one of your shoe laces and make a tourniquet but this is a last resourt thing and you should see if you can use pressure points to stop bleeding first.
[ Editor's Note: According to the Red Cross, a tourniquet should be used only if there is no other way to save the life of the person that is doing the bleeding. -oc ]
Phreak Safety Tips:
This is a little thing I thought up while phield phreaking a phat box. Picture this, you and your phat ass laptop are hacking cosmos from a switch box secluted 20 feet in the woods at 4:00am (yeah, right!) Then it happens. The green (Tip) wire of your beige box breaks off your alligator clip when you were twidging to scratch your ass. "Oh shit" you think, but you remember the login, password, and wc field so you reach in your pocket, fiddle around a while until you find it. Your trusty red pockey knife. You think "all I need to do is cut some green insulation and wire some of that copper around my clip again and soder it when I get home". So you pull out that newly sharpened blade and start to widdle off the insulation when wham! You get cought up and start to put harder. It then breaks off and your knife flings into your leg (Note: for safety and fashion reasons while field phreaking always wear dark jeans) and blood starts gushing all over. (Just like in Doom!!!) Oh shit now what? Go back home to get a band aid and risk waking up your parents and rover your wonder gold fish? This is kinda what happened to me. I had no bandaids, just a phreak kit. In the next section I Will explain how to go about making bandages out of phreak gear and go over some phreak safety tips.
How To Make A Bandage Out Of Phreak Gear:
Whip out a blank disk you use to put your Russian Nuclear War plans you hack on (Also my phriend brought up a good point: Go to the nearest mailbox, open it, and take out their daily AOL disk)
Now that you have your disk crack it open. Take out the filmy floppy frizbee. Discard this. Look at the inside of the casing of that frizbee. There will be white cotton stuff on each side. Pull that out. Now put in on where you are bleeding and aply direct pressure (ok some of this I learned in 8th grade health) Now you need to stick it on so open your backpack and pull out that nifty black electrical tape. Put some of that over it and whala! Not only does it stop the bleeding and alow you to phreak until sunrise but it looks really cool!
If your bleeding is really that bad you can take off one of your shoe laces and make a tourniquet but this is a last resourt thing and you should see if you can use pressure points to stop bleeding first.
[ Editor's Note: According to the Red Cross, a tourniquet should be used only if there is no other way to save the life of the person that is doing the bleeding. -oc ]
Phreak Safety Tips:
- When splicing insulation off a wire you might wana try putting your dad's zipo to use and burn off the insulation. The insulation burns and the copper wire doesnt!
- Try to at least put some electric tape on your aligator clips cuz a line can go up to 48 volts... (It doesn't hurt really just makes your hand and arm spazz out)
- Don't get caught!
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