10001: Writer's Block
By: Conan the Agrarian, Disco Lord of TulsaI now have what can be termed writers block. Much like sun block, writers block is applied to the body in an attempt to block harmful UV rays to the head which stimulate brain activity.
THE HISTORY OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
Writer's block has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. Before there was writing, writer's block was simply called "Block." Before there were blocks, it was called "." Writer's block was used by Sumerians as a replacement for mud blocks in building. This is evident in the fact that mud blocks were used, in a bizarre switch, for writing cuneiform script. Yet, writer's block (and its cousin the Stumbling block) have always made poor construction materials, easily dissolved by willpower, creativity, and silliness. Baked writer's block, unlike baked mud brick, was even weaker because when you're baked, you can seem to come up with interesting ideas more easily.
The roman empire made heavy use of the writer's block, which was set up in the center of each town forum. A local writer, or "escritore," would stand upon the block and auction off his books. Needless to say, the writer's block was driven into obscurity upon the rise of the christian emperors, being a symbol of paganism, and replaced by the auction block.
During the middle ages, writer's block was in hiding, as auction blocks took over the environmental niche once held by writer's block. Weakened by competition for food, territory, and compounded by the fact that nobody could read or write, writer's blocks became all but extinct. Luckily, a gargantuan revival of latin culture (get it? "gargantua" is from the Latin for "throat". Throat culture? haha) led to a revival of writer's block as Renaissance people began to write.
Today, however, Writer's block has been threatened by industrial pollution, namely that of the Engine block and the Building block. Such pollution has caused the writer's block to "lego" (get it?) it's grasp on its former territory. Today, Writer's blocks are not found in the wild, only in colleges.
APPLICATIONS OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
PRICE OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
Only $5.00 with a trial subscription to "Writer's Block Monthly." This month's headlining article: " ."
THE HISTORY OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
Writer's block has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. Before there was writing, writer's block was simply called "Block." Before there were blocks, it was called "." Writer's block was used by Sumerians as a replacement for mud blocks in building. This is evident in the fact that mud blocks were used, in a bizarre switch, for writing cuneiform script. Yet, writer's block (and its cousin the Stumbling block) have always made poor construction materials, easily dissolved by willpower, creativity, and silliness. Baked writer's block, unlike baked mud brick, was even weaker because when you're baked, you can seem to come up with interesting ideas more easily.
The roman empire made heavy use of the writer's block, which was set up in the center of each town forum. A local writer, or "escritore," would stand upon the block and auction off his books. Needless to say, the writer's block was driven into obscurity upon the rise of the christian emperors, being a symbol of paganism, and replaced by the auction block.
During the middle ages, writer's block was in hiding, as auction blocks took over the environmental niche once held by writer's block. Weakened by competition for food, territory, and compounded by the fact that nobody could read or write, writer's blocks became all but extinct. Luckily, a gargantuan revival of latin culture (get it? "gargantua" is from the Latin for "throat". Throat culture? haha) led to a revival of writer's block as Renaissance people began to write.
Today, however, Writer's block has been threatened by industrial pollution, namely that of the Engine block and the Building block. Such pollution has caused the writer's block to "lego" (get it?) it's grasp on its former territory. Today, Writer's blocks are not found in the wild, only in colleges.
APPLICATIONS OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
- As a cure for writer's cramp.
- As a reliable substitute for H and R.
- As a cheap substitute for artist's burnout.
PRICE OF WRITER'S BLOCK.
Only $5.00 with a trial subscription to "Writer's Block Monthly." This month's headlining article: " ."
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