01111: Craqhore's Marketing Ideas
By: CraqhoreHi. Today I'd like to present to you several marketing ideas by me, Craqhore. Without further ado, here they are:
1. The Ultimate Swimming Pool
I present to you a pyramid made of glass, 5 or more stories high, and enormous. (Don't worry, glass is INCREDIBLY strong under compression, especially in a pyramid shape.) Then, the pyramid will not be solid. It will consist of many layers of swimming pools, as so:
/\
/ \
water /--------\
|---> /------------\
The glass will hold, because the air spaces between each pool and the glass ceiling above will help to relieve strain on the middle of the pool, rather transferring it on the side. This technique is also used in the egyptian Pyramids.
Each pool will consist of a glass floor, glass ceiling, neon lights (different color for each floor). waterslides down the side allow you to slide from floor to floor. A water jet will fountain up to the top floor to replenish the water. And little conveyor-belt escalators, a la those toy penguins, will spiral around the side to take you to the top.
But wait! There is more! When you are done swimming (top floor is a jacuzzi because it is small, second floor is a water polo field, third floor is for laps, fourth floor is for swimming, bottom floor is a wading pool), just hop on your rented inner tube and float on your heated water while watching A MOVIE on the enormous IMAX theatre surrounding the pyramid.
All fucking right.
2. Beer delivery
Most of the drunk driving accidents occur because parties ran out of wine or beer, and "the most sober" is sent to buy more. However, "the most sober" is not sober enough. Thus, beer delivery! 1-800-BEER-NOW. Beer and wine straight TO YOU! I.D. checks at the door, and drivers are paid not to drink and drive. Furthermore, if you get foreign beer, you get sent a foreign driver, and if you get a domestic beer, you get domestic drivers! Hard liquor are sent to you as well.
3. Roller fencing
Like a cross between roller hockey and fencing. Duh.
I'm done now.
[ Ed note: At least he didn't do come-in-a-can... -oc ]
1. The Ultimate Swimming Pool
I present to you a pyramid made of glass, 5 or more stories high, and enormous. (Don't worry, glass is INCREDIBLY strong under compression, especially in a pyramid shape.) Then, the pyramid will not be solid. It will consist of many layers of swimming pools, as so:
/\
/ \
water /--------\
|---> /------------\
The glass will hold, because the air spaces between each pool and the glass ceiling above will help to relieve strain on the middle of the pool, rather transferring it on the side. This technique is also used in the egyptian Pyramids.
Each pool will consist of a glass floor, glass ceiling, neon lights (different color for each floor). waterslides down the side allow you to slide from floor to floor. A water jet will fountain up to the top floor to replenish the water. And little conveyor-belt escalators, a la those toy penguins, will spiral around the side to take you to the top.
But wait! There is more! When you are done swimming (top floor is a jacuzzi because it is small, second floor is a water polo field, third floor is for laps, fourth floor is for swimming, bottom floor is a wading pool), just hop on your rented inner tube and float on your heated water while watching A MOVIE on the enormous IMAX theatre surrounding the pyramid.
All fucking right.
2. Beer delivery
Most of the drunk driving accidents occur because parties ran out of wine or beer, and "the most sober" is sent to buy more. However, "the most sober" is not sober enough. Thus, beer delivery! 1-800-BEER-NOW. Beer and wine straight TO YOU! I.D. checks at the door, and drivers are paid not to drink and drive. Furthermore, if you get foreign beer, you get sent a foreign driver, and if you get a domestic beer, you get domestic drivers! Hard liquor are sent to you as well.
3. Roller fencing
Like a cross between roller hockey and fencing. Duh.
I'm done now.
[ Ed note: At least he didn't do come-in-a-can... -oc ]
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