00011: Social Engineering
By: CraqhoreThe ancient art of Social Engineering, Part I
Now, phreaking, hacking, et cetera will get you a lot of important information. Information can be anything from bank accounts to phone numbers to penis size. (It could happen!) However, one can't utilize any of this information unless one is an accomplished Social Engineer. Social Engineering is basically the art of reading body language, skillful use of reverse psychology, and the art of disseminating misinformation (this is called LYING for you stupid folks.)
Before we begin, I'd like to go over my background, to show I know a little about Social Engineering. I have worked for a congressman; I am in my school's student government; I am the county delegate for the student advisory council; I am a national competitor and regional champion in Student Congress competitions. In short, bullshit is my game, and I play it because my life depends on it. (The rise and fall of many aspiring successes show that hard work is no guarantee of success, and only a select few can get by on their looks.) Living near our nation's capital for most of my life, I have been immersed in a massive tidal wave of crapage, and hopefully I can teach you all how to surf upon it.
Social Engineering (herefore to be referred to as SE) is a complex art. It is the oldest of all arts; the cave man who dug a spike-laden pit and covered it in leaves was socially engineering. His prey, be it man, beast, or himself (cave men were not known for their brilliance) was not killed by the spikes or the fall. He was killed by an IDEA. SE is the art of using thought as a weapon: to hurt, kill, torture. SE is the art of using thought as a shield: to protect, to hide oneself. SE is the art of using thought as a tool: to coerce, to spy, to probe, to test, to change.
If you want a chance in hell of succeeding in life, you will have to learn how to SE. SE enables one to get maximum reward for minimum effort. It's also a hell of a lot of fun. The only way you will succeed in SE is if you have the mindset that ANYTHING CAN BE DONE WITH THE PROPER IDEA BEHIND IT. Applications of SE then include everything you want. You're only limited by your imagination (and most SE masters have good ones). So that's why you should SE. You can get anything from money to power to security to sex to just a good laugh. The major benefit of SE is that it can be used both in and out of a computer environment. Here's a hint for you beginning hackers: I've worked for a congressman, and I can tell you here and now that hacking into databases means nothing. There are always at least three paper copies, kept at different places, for every one electronic copy. Hacking will get at 25% of the problem. SE can take care of the whole problem.
With that in mind, let's move on to the art of SE. The very first thing you should know before trying SE is that you must be OBSERVANT. The Japanese and Chinese Zen masters had a concept called "chi," a sort of cosmic energy. The key to being observant was to have one's powers of observation focused everywhere and nowhere at once. (This is why no samurai were ever caught by surprise.) The situation can be analogous to driving. A good driver barely looks ahead, behind, around for more than half a second. But by constantly scanning, he can be aware of everything. SIGHT IS NOT AWARENESS. This attitude must be implemented in social terms as well. If you are in a crowded room, don't focus on any particular conversation, even if it catches your fancy. Just unfocus and let it "drift" to you. Note that unfocusing is not tuning out. Listening to ambient conversation is one of the hallmarks of SE. You can catch juicy rumors, facts about people, and private conversations. The human sense of hearing is much better than one thinks. If you concentrate on being aware, you can usually (through a combination of lip-reading and listening) discern multiple conversations simultaneously, even from an inconspicuous corner of the room.
Attention to detail is very important. Often times (especially when drunk) people will say things they shouldn't. REMEMBER THEM. You will probably never hear it again. A good attitude to take is that no verbal utterance should be taken for granted. It's said only once (usually). Good practice for detail recall is for you to soak up commercials. Yes, commercials. Billboards. Street signs. Try to avoid tuning out; rather, LISTEN to every word. WATCH every image while listening to every word. Note that this is not rote memorization; you won't have "made it" once you can quote every commercial. The secret success comes when you finally LISTEN to what is said. Once you hear the combinations of words and what stupid sentences/concepts/commercials they make, then you have made a great leap. For me, it was with the McD.L.T. The commercial said, "It has a hot side and a cold side. The hot side is hot, the cold side is cold." Most people I know missed that. But the true inanity of that sentence comes into play. Of COURSE the hot side would be hot. Of COURSE the cold side would be cold. It couldn't be any other way. While this may seem stupid to you, think about this: Most people don't have the ability to spot such absurdity. They need other, more skilled people to point out the stupidities of life to them. This is the only reason why Jerry Seinfeld is making money.
So once you have the skill of remembering detail unconsciously, it's time to use it. You won't get anywhere in SE, no matter how much you know about the McD.L.T. What you need to remember are names, faces, places, the aforementioned snippets of conversation, and most importantly for the phreaks, PHONE NUMBERS. Use whatever method helps you the most; the secret is to remember a continuous record of everything you have observed. All the important information in the world will come in handy sooner or later-and given the human penchant for impatience, it's probably sooner. I can't give you any advice as how to achieve such a state of photographic recall, except that it seems to come with practice. So practice being aware and you will be able to recall. As for me, I can still tell you my phone number in 1st grade (301/731-3654), all of my neighbors (Elizabeth, who had a baby named Andrew and liked to play the board game Pig-Mania; the two Olivias, one which had spina bifida, the other who found an escaped 9-foot long python under her house; Peter, who was a true human mutt, part everything, and...oh wait, I'm boring you. Back to the article.)
Worried that you can't recall? Here is some helpful information. The human brain has about three billion synapses. Assuming that a thought can be determined by the pattern of which synapses are firing (evidence shows this), then we can compare each synapse to a binary on-off switch. To specify every thought, we would have to say synapse 1 is on, 2 is off, and so on. Calculating, we get, in decimal, about 10 to the 1 billionth power.(Rucker, p.81) This is a LOT. This is one with a billion zeros. Go ahead, that's your limit. Just TRY and fill it.
This brings to light another key thing to recall: USELESS INFORMATION. Or seemingly useless information. The last paragraph was useless until just thirty seconds ago. This shows a point: you will NEVER know when you will need to solve a problem or answer the question. The more obscure the answer to a rare question, the better you'll look for knowing the answer. Thus, collect as many facts as possible. Although it helps to have the whole history of the matter on any subject, sound bites will do. You can always extrapolate on them later. (More later in the article.)
Finally, and this is most important, learn how to read body language. I could go on for pages on body language, but I can't. So this is what you should do. First, read a book on body language. Then, refer to this quick reference:
If the person is extremely happy, he will be leaning slightly back or forward, always a bit to one side, pupils dilated, creases around eyes if smiling. If he is sad there will be pinprick pupils, general slackness of facial muscles, tenseness of body muscles. He will sway at times. If he is hiding something: pupils are pinpoints, leaning either too far back or fwd, often making gestures which cover the body (i.e., fixing cuff links). If outright lying, person will try unconsciously to cover the mouth, often by making halfhearted scratches of the nose or mouth. (If this had been a real itch, the scratching would be vigorous and for a brief time.) If the person is nervous, perhaps if he's afraid you're on to him, his voice will change to the opposite of what it was. If he has a high-pitched voice, meet Barry White. If he's a James Earl Jones Clone, meet Binky the clown. This is an unconscious attempt to shake off one's identity. In any case, learn the hallmark signs of emotion via the eyes and the mouth. When happy, pupils dilate. When sad, they constrict. When telling the truth, the mouth is unimpeded; when lying, it's covered. A true smile has creases around the eyes; a false one does not.
Note: this is nowhere near comprehensive, but its a good primer. Further reading: I would recommend that ANY prospective Social Engineer should read every book on human anthropology by Desmond Morris, including the "Human Animal" series on The Learning Channel. YES, it's worth it. Plus, anyone who's familiar with Desmond Morris is aware of his fixation on T&A.
So now we have the basics of fact collection: "driving" mentality, collection of all important-sounding academia, and a basic body language primer. The next step is to learn how to use this database. The secret is in the thesis-argument complex (TAC for short). The TAC is the key to all arguments; you could be perfectly right about a subject, and have mountains of data to support your points, but unless you can organize your thoughts, you will end up ignored. This is a very real problem, and two people it has afflicted are Richard Nixon and Bob Dole. Both of them are incredibly well-read men, the former more so than the latter. Yet neither could express their views. Thus, they were defeated by far less intelligent men with slightly more charisma and "flow" to their argument."
So we move on to the art of formulating the impromptu thesis despite a total lack of information. So, you're being asked a question on superstring theory? Which model do you follow: the 10-dimensional model or the 29-dimensional model? YOU KNOW NOTHING ON THE SUBJECT. How do you make a point that: a) sounds reasonable, b) makes you look good, and c) has an off chance of being right? Here is where you draw upon what you have. Well, you know that the more complex something is, the more it has a chance of breaking (a common engineer's theorem). For instance, that fine Ming Vase you keep in the living room will break much more easily than Tupperware. Thus, simpler = better. 10 dimensions in a model are a lot more simple than 29. Thus, the 10 dimensional model is the more reasonable one. So you support the simpler model. You are a supporter of the 10-D model. Bingo! Through a combination of self-delusion and sheer luck, you have an answer to the question. An important fact to know is that the "simpler is better" concept is known as Occam's Razor, developed a hell of a long time ago. The theory goes: When in doubt, the simpler explanation is the more reasonable one. So congratulations, your bullshitting has philosophical backing!
A note: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR THESIS TO SUPPORT IT. Each side can be supported in so many ways. Rational thought is worthless that way; there is always a counterargument to anything if you work hard enough. The secret to formulating the no-data thesis is to make it extremely hard for the opposing side to counter you; ergo, they give up.
This is how to formulate a thesis with no data. Now, we move on to formulation of a thesis WITH data. It's always good to have three key areas of analysis, three simple-yet-critical points, et al. Whatever you want to call it, keep it in threes, just like a school essay. Only when you are good can you move on to two or four points. Five points mark the SE master. Here's a clue: NEVER do only one argument, or have more than five supports for your thesis. You don't want to leave your audience unsatisfied and/or bored out of their wits. Word of the day: consolidation. If two of your points have anything to do with each other, lump them together. "Brevity is the soul of wit." -Polonius, _Hamlet_
ALSO, LOG EVERYTHING...SUSPECT EVERYONE. BOO!
Now, phreaking, hacking, et cetera will get you a lot of important information. Information can be anything from bank accounts to phone numbers to penis size. (It could happen!) However, one can't utilize any of this information unless one is an accomplished Social Engineer. Social Engineering is basically the art of reading body language, skillful use of reverse psychology, and the art of disseminating misinformation (this is called LYING for you stupid folks.)
Before we begin, I'd like to go over my background, to show I know a little about Social Engineering. I have worked for a congressman; I am in my school's student government; I am the county delegate for the student advisory council; I am a national competitor and regional champion in Student Congress competitions. In short, bullshit is my game, and I play it because my life depends on it. (The rise and fall of many aspiring successes show that hard work is no guarantee of success, and only a select few can get by on their looks.) Living near our nation's capital for most of my life, I have been immersed in a massive tidal wave of crapage, and hopefully I can teach you all how to surf upon it.
Social Engineering (herefore to be referred to as SE) is a complex art. It is the oldest of all arts; the cave man who dug a spike-laden pit and covered it in leaves was socially engineering. His prey, be it man, beast, or himself (cave men were not known for their brilliance) was not killed by the spikes or the fall. He was killed by an IDEA. SE is the art of using thought as a weapon: to hurt, kill, torture. SE is the art of using thought as a shield: to protect, to hide oneself. SE is the art of using thought as a tool: to coerce, to spy, to probe, to test, to change.
If you want a chance in hell of succeeding in life, you will have to learn how to SE. SE enables one to get maximum reward for minimum effort. It's also a hell of a lot of fun. The only way you will succeed in SE is if you have the mindset that ANYTHING CAN BE DONE WITH THE PROPER IDEA BEHIND IT. Applications of SE then include everything you want. You're only limited by your imagination (and most SE masters have good ones). So that's why you should SE. You can get anything from money to power to security to sex to just a good laugh. The major benefit of SE is that it can be used both in and out of a computer environment. Here's a hint for you beginning hackers: I've worked for a congressman, and I can tell you here and now that hacking into databases means nothing. There are always at least three paper copies, kept at different places, for every one electronic copy. Hacking will get at 25% of the problem. SE can take care of the whole problem.
With that in mind, let's move on to the art of SE. The very first thing you should know before trying SE is that you must be OBSERVANT. The Japanese and Chinese Zen masters had a concept called "chi," a sort of cosmic energy. The key to being observant was to have one's powers of observation focused everywhere and nowhere at once. (This is why no samurai were ever caught by surprise.) The situation can be analogous to driving. A good driver barely looks ahead, behind, around for more than half a second. But by constantly scanning, he can be aware of everything. SIGHT IS NOT AWARENESS. This attitude must be implemented in social terms as well. If you are in a crowded room, don't focus on any particular conversation, even if it catches your fancy. Just unfocus and let it "drift" to you. Note that unfocusing is not tuning out. Listening to ambient conversation is one of the hallmarks of SE. You can catch juicy rumors, facts about people, and private conversations. The human sense of hearing is much better than one thinks. If you concentrate on being aware, you can usually (through a combination of lip-reading and listening) discern multiple conversations simultaneously, even from an inconspicuous corner of the room.
Attention to detail is very important. Often times (especially when drunk) people will say things they shouldn't. REMEMBER THEM. You will probably never hear it again. A good attitude to take is that no verbal utterance should be taken for granted. It's said only once (usually). Good practice for detail recall is for you to soak up commercials. Yes, commercials. Billboards. Street signs. Try to avoid tuning out; rather, LISTEN to every word. WATCH every image while listening to every word. Note that this is not rote memorization; you won't have "made it" once you can quote every commercial. The secret success comes when you finally LISTEN to what is said. Once you hear the combinations of words and what stupid sentences/concepts/commercials they make, then you have made a great leap. For me, it was with the McD.L.T. The commercial said, "It has a hot side and a cold side. The hot side is hot, the cold side is cold." Most people I know missed that. But the true inanity of that sentence comes into play. Of COURSE the hot side would be hot. Of COURSE the cold side would be cold. It couldn't be any other way. While this may seem stupid to you, think about this: Most people don't have the ability to spot such absurdity. They need other, more skilled people to point out the stupidities of life to them. This is the only reason why Jerry Seinfeld is making money.
So once you have the skill of remembering detail unconsciously, it's time to use it. You won't get anywhere in SE, no matter how much you know about the McD.L.T. What you need to remember are names, faces, places, the aforementioned snippets of conversation, and most importantly for the phreaks, PHONE NUMBERS. Use whatever method helps you the most; the secret is to remember a continuous record of everything you have observed. All the important information in the world will come in handy sooner or later-and given the human penchant for impatience, it's probably sooner. I can't give you any advice as how to achieve such a state of photographic recall, except that it seems to come with practice. So practice being aware and you will be able to recall. As for me, I can still tell you my phone number in 1st grade (301/731-3654), all of my neighbors (Elizabeth, who had a baby named Andrew and liked to play the board game Pig-Mania; the two Olivias, one which had spina bifida, the other who found an escaped 9-foot long python under her house; Peter, who was a true human mutt, part everything, and...oh wait, I'm boring you. Back to the article.)
Worried that you can't recall? Here is some helpful information. The human brain has about three billion synapses. Assuming that a thought can be determined by the pattern of which synapses are firing (evidence shows this), then we can compare each synapse to a binary on-off switch. To specify every thought, we would have to say synapse 1 is on, 2 is off, and so on. Calculating, we get, in decimal, about 10 to the 1 billionth power.(Rucker, p.81) This is a LOT. This is one with a billion zeros. Go ahead, that's your limit. Just TRY and fill it.
This brings to light another key thing to recall: USELESS INFORMATION. Or seemingly useless information. The last paragraph was useless until just thirty seconds ago. This shows a point: you will NEVER know when you will need to solve a problem or answer the question. The more obscure the answer to a rare question, the better you'll look for knowing the answer. Thus, collect as many facts as possible. Although it helps to have the whole history of the matter on any subject, sound bites will do. You can always extrapolate on them later. (More later in the article.)
Finally, and this is most important, learn how to read body language. I could go on for pages on body language, but I can't. So this is what you should do. First, read a book on body language. Then, refer to this quick reference:
If the person is extremely happy, he will be leaning slightly back or forward, always a bit to one side, pupils dilated, creases around eyes if smiling. If he is sad there will be pinprick pupils, general slackness of facial muscles, tenseness of body muscles. He will sway at times. If he is hiding something: pupils are pinpoints, leaning either too far back or fwd, often making gestures which cover the body (i.e., fixing cuff links). If outright lying, person will try unconsciously to cover the mouth, often by making halfhearted scratches of the nose or mouth. (If this had been a real itch, the scratching would be vigorous and for a brief time.) If the person is nervous, perhaps if he's afraid you're on to him, his voice will change to the opposite of what it was. If he has a high-pitched voice, meet Barry White. If he's a James Earl Jones Clone, meet Binky the clown. This is an unconscious attempt to shake off one's identity. In any case, learn the hallmark signs of emotion via the eyes and the mouth. When happy, pupils dilate. When sad, they constrict. When telling the truth, the mouth is unimpeded; when lying, it's covered. A true smile has creases around the eyes; a false one does not.
Note: this is nowhere near comprehensive, but its a good primer. Further reading: I would recommend that ANY prospective Social Engineer should read every book on human anthropology by Desmond Morris, including the "Human Animal" series on The Learning Channel. YES, it's worth it. Plus, anyone who's familiar with Desmond Morris is aware of his fixation on T&A.
So now we have the basics of fact collection: "driving" mentality, collection of all important-sounding academia, and a basic body language primer. The next step is to learn how to use this database. The secret is in the thesis-argument complex (TAC for short). The TAC is the key to all arguments; you could be perfectly right about a subject, and have mountains of data to support your points, but unless you can organize your thoughts, you will end up ignored. This is a very real problem, and two people it has afflicted are Richard Nixon and Bob Dole. Both of them are incredibly well-read men, the former more so than the latter. Yet neither could express their views. Thus, they were defeated by far less intelligent men with slightly more charisma and "flow" to their argument."
So we move on to the art of formulating the impromptu thesis despite a total lack of information. So, you're being asked a question on superstring theory? Which model do you follow: the 10-dimensional model or the 29-dimensional model? YOU KNOW NOTHING ON THE SUBJECT. How do you make a point that: a) sounds reasonable, b) makes you look good, and c) has an off chance of being right? Here is where you draw upon what you have. Well, you know that the more complex something is, the more it has a chance of breaking (a common engineer's theorem). For instance, that fine Ming Vase you keep in the living room will break much more easily than Tupperware. Thus, simpler = better. 10 dimensions in a model are a lot more simple than 29. Thus, the 10 dimensional model is the more reasonable one. So you support the simpler model. You are a supporter of the 10-D model. Bingo! Through a combination of self-delusion and sheer luck, you have an answer to the question. An important fact to know is that the "simpler is better" concept is known as Occam's Razor, developed a hell of a long time ago. The theory goes: When in doubt, the simpler explanation is the more reasonable one. So congratulations, your bullshitting has philosophical backing!
A note: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR THESIS TO SUPPORT IT. Each side can be supported in so many ways. Rational thought is worthless that way; there is always a counterargument to anything if you work hard enough. The secret to formulating the no-data thesis is to make it extremely hard for the opposing side to counter you; ergo, they give up.
This is how to formulate a thesis with no data. Now, we move on to formulation of a thesis WITH data. It's always good to have three key areas of analysis, three simple-yet-critical points, et al. Whatever you want to call it, keep it in threes, just like a school essay. Only when you are good can you move on to two or four points. Five points mark the SE master. Here's a clue: NEVER do only one argument, or have more than five supports for your thesis. You don't want to leave your audience unsatisfied and/or bored out of their wits. Word of the day: consolidation. If two of your points have anything to do with each other, lump them together. "Brevity is the soul of wit." -Polonius, _Hamlet_
ALSO, LOG EVERYTHING...SUSPECT EVERYONE. BOO!
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