On My Philosophy Class

When I signed up for Introduction to Philosophy at my university, it was my intention to learn more about the subject to both understand the articles that others submitted to my 'zine as well as write more thoughtful and probing articles myself. My zines have always engaged in a sort of armchair philosophy, though most of it was amateur and ignorant of past thinkers. I think I have accomplished my goal, at least in part. I've learned that my constant need to question almost everything and to play devil's advocate has a name, philosophy, and it has previous practitioners such as Socrates.

Some of the results of the class might be viewed as bad, or evil. I entered the class as an agnostic: I believed there was a supreme force or superior being(s), but I did not know what to call him/her/them/it, or even how to describe him/her/them/it. I'm leaving the class bordering on atheism rather than bordering on religion as I entered. I now only see a possibility for a higher power, having no real opinion of it. How could I have an opinion of it? I have never met it, or seen any of its acts, or had it speak to me. And the intense re-evaluation that philosophy values is responsible for this shift.

I no longer believe in the word love. What I previously thought was love was not. "Love" as I now understand it, means nothing. It is merely a matter of definition (and one that I have already gotten in trouble for. Had I known the trouble this would have caused, I would never have taken the class. But I did, and now I'm sorry.)

But more important than all of that, philosophy class gives me a reason to think. Thinking hurts and questioning ones beliefs is painful. Man does not want to do it. Living with the status quo is easier then trying to change it. But now I can't go back to ignorance and complacency. I've caught the fever of the truth, or at least have been thoroughly disgusted with lies, and can't go back.