00010 Defense of Who I Am

i've been told by many people that i'm an asshole;
a belligerent loudmouth with no tact.
i've been told by many people that i'm mean spirited,
obnoxious and perverted.

i make no apologies.

that is a side of me, yes. but then again we all have our facets.
if you think i'm full of shit tell it to my face
not behind my back in whispers and moans.

i can still hear you.
i'm a jackass, not a deaf-mute.
remember?

it's been a while.
do i scare you still?
then you scare easily.

i'm sorry to surprise you.
i forgot
you think i can't write or talk or think or act
i'm only the bastard downstairs who you have to endure
passing by every day
like a demon festering in his lair beneath your peppermint
castles in the sky
just an good-for-nothing idiot with oversize vocal cords
instead of a brains and a heart

what did i do to earn your enmity?
what did i do to earn your scorn?

i'm sorry i can't fit into your cookie cutter world
where we all listen to the same music
and wear the same clothes
and use the same slang
and get wasted every thursday friday saturday sunday monday
night

i'm sorry i've listened to different and differing words and ideas
about god and the devil
about german techno and turkish jazz
about great existential writers and obscure comedy troupes

has it ever occurred to you that i know what the fuck i'm talking
about?
that i've been there?
that i've done that?

of course not.

i'm just the asshole who lives downstairs.