01111: Bill Gates: "Antichrist is Fun," says Microsoft CEO
By: Mike Farahbakhshian(Reuters)
JUNE 15: Microsoft today announced a year 2000 release of its new extension to the Windows NT operating system, Active NT Integrating Controller for High-yield Recursive Information Server Traffic (ANTICHRIST) v 6.66. It will feature an easy-to-use graphical user interface and no less than 300 independent service daemons. "We think, after the success of the Kerberos and Satan protocols, Microsoft Antichrist 2000 will do well," said Bill Gates, Microsoft CEO.
In a groundbreaking new move, Microsoft will release Antichrist(tm) for free, provided the user files a Software Owner and User Licence (SOUL) with Microsoft for "an indefinite period of time." Says the software mogul: "Do not worry, Microsoft Antichrist is Fun." Indeed, since Microsoft owns the rights to Fun(tm) after it released Microsoft Fun98(tm) last fall, there is little difference between the programs. "Just think of Antichrist as a logical extension of Fun. They use the same protocols," said Gates.
In a related story, Microsoft is suing the Catholic Church over the appearence of Jesus(tm), which it states is a violation of its End User License. Since Microsoft bought the rights to JesusChrist(tm) in 1997, it has contended that Jesus(tm) was shaped like a giant 'N'. "We believe Jesus was shaped like an N because the Cross(tm, patent pending) was shaped like a giant T," said Gates. "NT? Don't you get it?" Gates was then heard to chuckle nervously and scurry into a crevice in a nearby wall. The Pope was not avaiable for comment
Ramifications of the suit are as of yet uncertain, but Microsoft plans to re-release JesusChrist(tm) in a format that is year 2000 compliant. A December 25 shipping date is planned.
JUNE 15: Microsoft today announced a year 2000 release of its new extension to the Windows NT operating system, Active NT Integrating Controller for High-yield Recursive Information Server Traffic (ANTICHRIST) v 6.66. It will feature an easy-to-use graphical user interface and no less than 300 independent service daemons. "We think, after the success of the Kerberos and Satan protocols, Microsoft Antichrist 2000 will do well," said Bill Gates, Microsoft CEO.
In a groundbreaking new move, Microsoft will release Antichrist(tm) for free, provided the user files a Software Owner and User Licence (SOUL) with Microsoft for "an indefinite period of time." Says the software mogul: "Do not worry, Microsoft Antichrist is Fun." Indeed, since Microsoft owns the rights to Fun(tm) after it released Microsoft Fun98(tm) last fall, there is little difference between the programs. "Just think of Antichrist as a logical extension of Fun. They use the same protocols," said Gates.
In a related story, Microsoft is suing the Catholic Church over the appearence of Jesus(tm), which it states is a violation of its End User License. Since Microsoft bought the rights to JesusChrist(tm) in 1997, it has contended that Jesus(tm) was shaped like a giant 'N'. "We believe Jesus was shaped like an N because the Cross(tm, patent pending) was shaped like a giant T," said Gates. "NT? Don't you get it?" Gates was then heard to chuckle nervously and scurry into a crevice in a nearby wall. The Pope was not avaiable for comment
Ramifications of the suit are as of yet uncertain, but Microsoft plans to re-release JesusChrist(tm) in a format that is year 2000 compliant. A December 25 shipping date is planned.
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