01110: Gates, Devil sign Merger
By: Mike Farahbakhshian(AP)
JUNE 16, 1998: Microsoft today announced its merger with the Forces of Darkness. In a much-suspected deal, Bill Gates, Microsoft CEO, has obtained exclusive licensing rights for Environmental Variable Interface Language (EVIL), Microsoft's new competitor to Java. Microsoft also obtains control of the Forces of Darkness. Bill Gates will also receive stock options, superhuman powers and "biker chicks."
In return for such exclusive rights, Gates reportedly paid a sum of 666 million dollars and his soul. The Microsoft slogan,
Where Do You Want To Go Today?(tm)
will be changed to reflect the merger with the infernal spawn of Satan. The new slogan will be:
Where The Hell Do You Think You're Going?
The Devil was unavailable for comment, reportedly being sickened by the source code to NT 5.0.
JUNE 16, 1998: Microsoft today announced its merger with the Forces of Darkness. In a much-suspected deal, Bill Gates, Microsoft CEO, has obtained exclusive licensing rights for Environmental Variable Interface Language (EVIL), Microsoft's new competitor to Java. Microsoft also obtains control of the Forces of Darkness. Bill Gates will also receive stock options, superhuman powers and "biker chicks."
In return for such exclusive rights, Gates reportedly paid a sum of 666 million dollars and his soul. The Microsoft slogan,
Where Do You Want To Go Today?(tm)
will be changed to reflect the merger with the infernal spawn of Satan. The new slogan will be:
Where The Hell Do You Think You're Going?
The Devil was unavailable for comment, reportedly being sickened by the source code to NT 5.0.
Back Next
