Breathing in Solitude
Posted by omnicolor: 2007-08-27
Written many moons ago.

A sudden catharsis of emotion, as the lungs deplete their store of air. A cry of anguish, a sob of sadness, a scream of loneliness. An outward breath of hot air, taking with it a plethora of feelings, relief and calm as fresh cool air is inhaled. The quiet after a scream calms the soul, quieting the rage, and cooling the fire of anger that burns in the gut. A sigh of loneliness attempts to distract the mind from thinking. Ignore thinking, concentrate on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Work on slowing it, feel the air enter and leave. Stop breathing, just for a second, and the thoughts start up again. The mind is a cell, and keeping it asleep keeps it docile and controllable. Waste time, but don't think. When you think, you can't know what thoughts will come. Starting from a nice thought, the insanity of an uncontrolled mind corrupts it into something sinister. A baby's breath at first becomes a hurricane, destroying all that stands in its path. Bunkers built carefully to keep memories or emotions at bay break open, releasing their contents grown spoiled and rotten through time. From the depths of the pit of consciousness comes thoughts unmentionable, prompting a shudder from the flesh tortured by the dementia of a mind left to its own devices. A tortured mind deludes and yet amuses itself with depraved fantasies and maniacal plans. Death and destruction, pain and suffering, hate and anger become central topics, as morals and sympathy decay. Longing for a gentle release from sanity, instead caught teetering on the brink between fantasy and reality, a mind suffers, wondering what is real and what are illusions. An allusion of sanity is shown a mere wish, while terrible demons become real, and gnaw on the soul, unraveling its simple fabric, taking out the stitches that hold it together. Strings snap loose, throwing thoughts into disarray, until there is nothing left, and the body looses what controlling humanity it once had, as its face contorts into a pale mockery of a human figure.