Flying at 30,000 feet on your way to a distant place gives you some insight in to your life and what kind of person you are. I'm flying a five hour trip from Washington, D.C. to California, to go to a small prep school, and I just got to thinking about friends. I had a great group of friends in Washington, and I'm going to miss them, but while up here, looking at the ground through an occasional break in the clouds, I started thinking about my own mortality. If this plane were to crash, or blow up this second, how would my family and friends react? I'm sure my family would miss me. But sometimes I wonder how much and for what reasons. I mean, sure, I'm a part of the family, but am I deluding myself by thinking that we're a loving family? Would the miss me or my computer skills and strong back? And my friends, would the cry for me? Would they miss me or my hospitality? It's questions like these that get me depressed. I mean, I think they'd be sad, and if I asked them now, they'd say so.

But then I get to thinking, if one of them were to die today, how would I react? I'd like to think I'd be strong enough to continue functioning, while still being sad enough to respect the dead? Some friends I would be more sad about losing than others, but am I a cold enough, uncaring enough person to not mourn their loss? I already know my views on death in other subjects. I find the justice system too lenient and am willing to risk a few innocents to stop the guilty. On abortion, I'm not pro-life and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-death. Bringing an innocent little baby into this world when you want it is an act of cruelty, and bringing it into this world when you don't is sadistic. Life is hard enough when you have a loving mother and father.